Thursday Thoughts – Endings/Beginnings

Today is my last day at my current job. I was already sad, excited, guilty, and a whole bunch of other emotions about it, and I was going to write a generic post about, like, what I’ve been watching/listening to instead of this post because I didn’t really want to think about it any more than I’m going to have to for eight hours at work today. BUT then I woke up to the following comment from my current boss on the Facebook status I’d posted about this being both my last week at my current job and my first week at my new job, and I knew I had to write this post.

Comment from Matt

I cried. Obviously. Like I said, I was already emotional about it, and then I get that comment and it… I just cried, okay? It’s such a weird feeling to be both sad (SO SAD) and excited (SO EXCITED) about something. But I am. I LOVE my current job. Yes, it’s only part-time which means crappy money, and yes, it’s at a small library in a small town in Mississippi where not that many people read, but I work with an awesome, supportive boss who I get along with really well, and there are some really wonderful patrons who come in and ask me to recommend them a book because they know it’ll probably be out of their comfort zone. I get to help people apply for jobs and for college. I have helped patrons with research, talked comics and music and everything else with my boss, planned and ran really fun events for kids AND adults, and so SO much more. I’ve both learned and taught a lot in the past ten months, and I’ve loved (almost) every minute. I also feel guilty about it. This library is small, right? We had three people working there (full-time branch manager, part-time Children’s person, and part-time Circulation Clerk slash YA person). The part-time Children’s person left at the end of March, and then I found out I’d gotten the new job the next week. So starting next week, my boss will be working alone until they hire someone new. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty. I have to do what’s right for me, but I care about my boss and my library and I hate that he’ll be alone. So as you can imagine, I’m really sad to leave this library and my boss.

But I’m also excited for my new opportunity. I’ll be the full-time (YESSSSS) Youth Services Assistant at a library that is roughly four or five times the size of my current library. The children’s section (just picture books to middle grade) is almost the same size as my current library. From what I’ve been told, I’ll be doing most of the young adult stuff, which is what I’m most familiar with and passionate about, so you can guess how exciting that is. There will be more teens and more readers and more books. I’m excited to be able to focus all of my time and energy on only children’s programming and development. It’s going to be a BIG change, and this is both exciting and a little intimidating, but I’m looking forward to it. New challenges, a new adventure, and a big change. I’ll still be in the same library system, so I’ll still know a lot of people, which is good. I’ll also be closer to a friend who works at another library in the system – who says she’s excited because I’ll be in harrassing distance – as well as my mom and brother so I have occasional lunch buddies. The new job is closer to me – there and back is roughly the same as one way to my current job. It’s full-time, THANK GOODNESS, which I really needed. I’m definitely not one of those people to shy away from change. In fact, I crave it. So as you can imagine, I’m really excited for this new adventure.

I don’t know if anyone is actually going to read this post. It’s mostly me writing out all my feelings about this ending and beginning. I feel really strange today and I just had to talk about it. I have a feeling I’m going to cry several more times today (aka I’m crying right now). I don’t really know how to feel, which is kind of confusing. I think I’ll feel a little better next week when I start the new job (tomorrow I’ll be at a work day for all youth services people so I won’t actually be at the new library until Monday), because today is both an END and a BEGINNING and that’s weird.

New beginnings