alopecia | Caught Read Handed

Seize the Tuesday is a book blogger meme created by Adi Alsaid and the Let’s Get Lost Buddies Street Team, to share stories about how we’ve seized the Tuesday, with a special focus on the particular book we’re reading. We’ll share our posts online with the hashtag: #LetsAllGetLost. The idea is to share little ways in which you may have embraced Bree’s motto of seizing the Tuesday. To relate it to books, you can talk about what book you’re reading, and how you stole some moments from the day to enjoy reading. It doesn’t have to be about reading, but we all know that a well-read day is a day seized. The idea is not just to help spread the word on LGL, but also to remind people to live fully, even/especially if that means spending a part of your day reading.

So if you couldn’t tell from my blog picture, I don’t have any hair. None. There’s nothing there. No, I don’t have cancer. No, I’m not dying. No, I’m not going through chemo.

I have alopecia. Basically, something inside me thinks that my hair is a disease and makes it fall out. I don’t have any other symptoms…other than the no hair thing. It’s not life threatening. I just don’t have hair.

Today, at the library where I work, I had a really great conversation about it with someone. Usually, as you could probably imagine, people assume that I have cancer. They ask me what stage I have or if I’m going through chemo or what type of cancer I have, blah blah blah. I have NO problem with people asking me why I don’t have hair (there’s nothing wrong with being curious), but I really am not a fan of people assuming. In addition to assuming, some people can be really mean. I’m used to all of this though.

What I’m still not used to is the people who are nice, genuinely curious without being intrusive about it. That’s what happened today. I had a lovely woman come in and say, “Can I ask you something without you getting offended?” I, of course, knew exactly what she was going to ask and said, “You want to know why I don’t have hair?” She said yes, and I proceeded to tell her. What followed was a conversation about her husband shaving his head a few years ago and the amount of people assuming he had cancer. She said she knew right away that I didn’t because I don’t look sick. I was like, “YES! Exactly. Thank you.” We laughed, connected, had a nice chat, and then she left.

What might seem like a simple exchange to some of you was one of the best conversations I’ve had recently. I haven’t felt that comfortable, confident, and happy about a conversation about my head in a while. This lady, her husband, and I had a genuine connection over something that I can’t usually connect with other people about.

Seize the Tuesday, indeed.

I just finished the audiobook for Wonder by R.J. Palacio this morning, and there was a quote that I wanted to talk about here. Just in case you don’t know what Wonder is about, I’ll give a little synopsis.

August has a facial deformity. Until now, he’s been homeschooled, but his parents decide that it is time for him to start real school, so they enroll him and the book follows his year in the fifth grade. Of course, starting school for the first time is hard enough, but when you look different, kids can be mean. Auggie goes through a lot of horrible things, but he makes some friends along the way.

The first day I showed up at school with the hearing aids, I thought kids would make a big deal about it. But no one did. Summer was glad I could hear better, and Jack said it made me look like an FBI agent or something. But that was it. Mr. Browne asked me about it in English class, but it wasn’t like, what the heck is that thing on your head?! It was more like, “If you ever need me to repeat something, Auggie, make sure you tell me, okay?

Now that I look back, I don’t know why I was so stressed about it all this time. Funny how sometimes you worry a lot about something and it turns out to be nothing. – Page 215

You may have noticed in my blog picture that I don’t have any hair. Now, I’m not comparing alopecia to a facial deformity, but I have first-hand experience with how mean kids (and adults) can be. I’ve had a lot of people stare at me and say things and point and ask rude questions. My confidence level is a lot higher than it used to be (which was really, really low). Most of you probably don’t know that up until about three years ago, I used to wear hats all the time (like even if I slept over at a friend’s house). Finally, FINALLY, I accepted that this is who I am, and if you didn’t like it, I didn’t need you in my life. I love not having hair for a lot of reasons (that I won’t go into unless you want me to). When I heard this quote in the book, it was like, “YES! I know exactly how that feels.” I mean, he even mentions his teacher didn’t ask what the thing on his head was! Haha. I look back on what I thought would happen before I took off my hat for good, and while it has been hard sometimes, overall people have been great. You really do worry way too much about something that is just nothing.