Thursday Thoughts – Endings/Beginnings

Today is my last day at my current job. I was already sad, excited, guilty, and a whole bunch of other emotions about it, and I was going to write a generic post about, like, what I’ve been watching/listening to instead of this post because I didn’t really want to think about it any more than I’m going to have to for eight hours at work today. BUT then I woke up to the following comment from my current boss on the Facebook status I’d posted about this being both my last week at my current job and my first week at my new job, and I knew I had to write this post.

Comment from Matt

I cried. Obviously. Like I said, I was already emotional about it, and then I get that comment and it… I just cried, okay? It’s such a weird feeling to be both sad (SO SAD) and excited (SO EXCITED) about something. But I am. I LOVE my current job. Yes, it’s only part-time which means crappy money, and yes, it’s at a small library in a small town in Mississippi where not that many people read, but I work with an awesome, supportive boss who I get along with really well, and there are some really wonderful patrons who come in and ask me to recommend them a book because they know it’ll probably be out of their comfort zone. I get to help people apply for jobs and for college. I have helped patrons with research, talked comics and music and everything else with my boss, planned and ran really fun events for kids AND adults, and so SO much more. I’ve both learned and taught a lot in the past ten months, and I’ve loved (almost) every minute. I also feel guilty about it. This library is small, right? We had three people working there (full-time branch manager, part-time Children’s person, and part-time Circulation Clerk slash YA person). The part-time Children’s person left at the end of March, and then I found out I’d gotten the new job the next week. So starting next week, my boss will be working alone until they hire someone new. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty. I have to do what’s right for me, but I care about my boss and my library and I hate that he’ll be alone. So as you can imagine, I’m really sad to leave this library and my boss.

But I’m also excited for my new opportunity. I’ll be the full-time (YESSSSS) Youth Services Assistant at a library that is roughly four or five times the size of my current library. The children’s section (just picture books to middle grade) is almost the same size as my current library. From what I’ve been told, I’ll be doing most of the young adult stuff, which is what I’m most familiar with and passionate about, so you can guess how exciting that is. There will be more teens and more readers and more books. I’m excited to be able to focus all of my time and energy on only children’s programming and development. It’s going to be a BIG change, and this is both exciting and a little intimidating, but I’m looking forward to it. New challenges, a new adventure, and a big change. I’ll still be in the same library system, so I’ll still know a lot of people, which is good. I’ll also be closer to a friend who works at another library in the system – who says she’s excited because I’ll be in harrassing distance – as well as my mom and brother so I have occasional lunch buddies. The new job is closer to me – there and back is roughly the same as one way to my current job. It’s full-time, THANK GOODNESS, which I really needed. I’m definitely not one of those people to shy away from change. In fact, I crave it. So as you can imagine, I’m really excited for this new adventure.

I don’t know if anyone is actually going to read this post. It’s mostly me writing out all my feelings about this ending and beginning. I feel really strange today and I just had to talk about it. I have a feeling I’m going to cry several more times today (aka I’m crying right now). I don’t really know how to feel, which is kind of confusing. I think I’ll feel a little better next week when I start the new job (tomorrow I’ll be at a work day for all youth services people so I won’t actually be at the new library until Monday), because today is both an END and a BEGINNING and that’s weird.

New beginnings

32 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts – Endings/Beginnings

  1. Pingback: Thursday Thoughts: What I’ve Been Reading aka GIVE ME ALL THE DIVERSE CONTEMPORARY | Caught Read Handed

  2. Congratulations Stefani! I made the leap from PT to FT last year and was a mess of emotions about it too (and I even stayed in the same building!). All the best in the new gig!

    • I don’t know if I’m really emotional because of the switch from PT to FT (I really needed that), but mostly emotional for switching libraries and leaving the comfort of my small library and environment. It’s going to be good eventually, I think.

  3. These are all such wonderful and supportive comments!!! I KNOW you will do fabulous, let the new place see how AWESOME we all know you are. I love you!!!!

  4. Congrats on your new job! I’m so happy for you! Also, I’m glad you will still be able to keep in touch with your old boss and that you parted on such good terms.

  5. *HUGS* Your current boss sounds fabulous, and at least you can move on to the next stage in your adventure (aka life) with such support and a positive relationship! It’s crappy when emotions go all over the place, but there’s lots of good emotions in there too, and they’ll settle down soon as you get into the swing of things. It’s kind of like you’re moving out of your comfort bubble with this new post, and while I’m sure you’d have loved to have stayed at your current job, the less commuting time, more money and more opportunities sound fab! ❤ R x

  6. First of all, *hugs*
    What a great boss you have that he’d leave you such a kind message! It sounds like, no matter what, you’ll always have a friend in him.
    Best of luck as you embark on this new adventure—I can’t wait to hear ALL about it! 🙂

  7. Congratulations! I understand why you feel bad about leaving your (awesome-sounding) boss, but it sounds like there are SO many reason to be excited for your new job. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Especially when it involved being able to financially support yourself, haha. Just think of all the new teen readers you’ll be able to introduce to some amazing, important books! Enjoy your new job. 😀

    • I know. I have difficulty thinking of myself first, which is a problem, but that’s how I’ve always been. BUT I needed to do this, and I’m glad that I did. I can’t wait to meet all my new teens!! 🙂

  8. What a sweetheart your boss is! I was wondering why you were feeling guilty until I read that the other part timer had recently left and he’d be on his own. I’m sure he’s up to the challenge though. Sounds like May 1 will be an exciting day, nothing like jumping right in and meeting the other youth services people.

    • My boss is awesome. Definitely the main part of this job that I’ll miss. I know he can do it by himself (he’s had to before) but it still sucks, you know? I’m excited for tomorrow. I’ve met all the youth services people before but this will be a fun, crazy day!

  9. Congratulations! The new job sounds wonderful and interesting and I’m sure you will love i.! It’s okay to miss the old job & your boss, he sounds like one in a million. Have your cries – and some smiles – and enjoy the new beginnings! Let us know how it goes on Monday.

  10. Stef, I am so so very happy for you. It is such a great opportunity and the beginning of something wonderful that I am sure you’re going to love! I know change is hard even under the best circumstances, especially leaving a place and people you adore. You’ve been blessed to have this experience and will continue to be blessed with a new experience and exciting future! Your new employer is lucky to have you!! xx

  11. I think your post is lovely. Job change like any life change brings out so much emotion even when you hate the job you are leaving behind. Change is tough but you are doing a wonderful thing for yourself, moving on to where you can grow further and continue to grow. I am very excited to hear about your adventures in the bigger world!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s